“It's a sure sign of getting older when nearly every topic begins with, "I used to.”

“One can only pity those dirty little minds that see obscenity in the crotch of every tree.”

“I always have a quote for any occasion...It saves the effort of original thinking.”

“My looks are other peoples' problem because I don't have to look at myself.”

“THE FACE OF HISTORY is not in the well-preserved faces of the famous, but in the remains of those who lived in the moment”

“We talk so much about leaving a better planet to our kids, that we forget to leave better kids to our planet.”

“Don't sweat the small stuff - and it's all small stuff!”