“And I got myself a camel," Cordy finished with a smile.Lex stared at her. "Why?""Duh, Lex, because I can .”
“Hi, I'm Driggs.""Damn, boy. You're even cuter up close." Cordy looked him up and down hungrily. "Got any dead brothers in here?"Lex made a face. "Cordy, ew.""Doesn't hurt to ask!" She peered at Driggs. "Now tell me, what are your intentions with my sister?"Driggs became flustered. "Um, I don't know. To love her...and, uh...honor...protect..."Lex went red. "Driggs, shut up.""Awkward." Cordy beamed. "Love it.""We have to go," Driggs said in an unnecessarily loud voice.”
“Maybe I should off myself right now and come join you."Cordy frowned. "Why?""Well," said Lex, "it's no picnic over here in the land of the living. The whole town hates me, Mom and Dad probably despise me, there's an angry, murderous bitch tearing up the country, I've got your death to avenge and no one's offering ME any hard candy.”
“Lex studied her. "Wait a sec. You're happy here?"The expression on Cordy's face confirmed this. "Not gonna lie, Lex. It's pretty bitchin'.""So I've been worried sick about you this whole time, picturing you miserable and wrecked and plotting my excruciating demise, and you're telling me this has all been a summer cruise?""Yeah. Sorry.”
“And speaking of Terms, we need to set a few ground rules here with...this," he said, clearing his throat and gesturing at the two of them."With what?" Lex said."That," Uncle Mort replied, pointing to a suspicious-looking mark on her neck.Lex's hand flew to her throat while Driggs shifted, uneasy. "Why?" he asked."Don't 'why?' me, Romeo. You know I trust you, but Lex is still my niece. In the absence of her father, it's up to me to do everything in my power to complicate and interfere with her budding love life."Lex frowned. "Hey-”
“Next thing Driggs knew, Lex was rummaging around in the closet. 'Are you looking for your sanity?' he called after her. 'Because I do believe it showed itself out a while ago.”
“Who knows why you kids do any of the crap you do?""And who knows why you guys are such assholes?" Lex countered, taking a sip of her soda. "Life is just full of little mysteries, isn't it?”