“But they were her parents! Putting up with all of her crap was their official job - they couldn't wriggle out of it! She tried to swallow the lump forming in her throat. How could they do this to her?”

“And speaking of Terms, we need to set a few ground rules here with...this," he said, clearing his throat and gesturing at the two of them."With what?" Lex said."That," Uncle Mort replied, pointing to a suspicious-looking mark on her neck.Lex's hand flew to her throat while Driggs shifted, uneasy. "Why?" he asked."Don't 'why?' me, Romeo. You know I trust you, but Lex is still my niece. In the absence of her father, it's up to me to do everything in my power to complicate and interfere with her budding love life."Lex frowned. "Hey-”

“Who knows why you kids do any of the crap you do?""And who knows why you guys are such assholes?" Lex countered, taking a sip of her soda. "Life is just full of little mysteries, isn't it?”

“Fine!" he relented, giving her a dirty look. "But only if you stay in front."She rolled her eyes. "My, what chivalry.""To hell with chivalry. Your idea, you die first.”

“Hey, one week, huh, Lex?" he said, tossing her a Cuff. "Here's your graduation gift.""Sweet." she slid it onto her wrist. It felt cool, with a slight vibration to it. "Thanks.""So, you feel all trained up? Driggs teach you everything he knows?""Yes. I'm now fully qualified to operate a can opener."Driggs let out a sigh. "What a lovable scamp you've bestowed upon our fair town, Mort.""My pleasure," he said to Driggs.”

“After a minute or so, Lex pushed him away. "Stop.""Why?" He looked horrified. "What's wrong?""Nothing-""Was it that thing I did with my tongue?""Um, no. Your tongue and its many talents are perfect. Keep up the good work." She reached into her pocket and pulled out a crumpled-up scrap of paper.”

“Seriously?" she said with a glance of skepticism. Driggs and this nerdlinger? "You guys are best friends?"Ferbus looked up briefly to give her a smug look. "We prefer the term heterosexual life mates.”