“Do something!" Norwood told him."Do what?" Uncle Mort's face was furious. "Fly up there and get it? You bring your broomstick, Hel?”

“I was a teenage boy once too, you know," Uncle Mort said, popping back up. "I know what your brain looks like. It's a three-ring circus in there.”

“They had completely failed to notice Norwood and Heloise storming out of the house, Uncle Mort scaling the ladder, and the fact he was now staring at them and had been for several minutes."Good grief," he said. "As if I didn't have enough to worry about."Lex and Driggs jumped apart and wiped spittle from their mouths. "What's up?" Driggs said in a terrible attempt at nonchalance."Hormone levels obviously.”

“Uncle Mort after explaining to Lex and Driggs that the ether, Elixir, and other things affects fertility: That doesn't mean you get a free pass to ride the baloney pony whenever you want to. Got it?”

“What about a warning system?" Heloise said."The entire encounter lasted less than five seconds, Hel. I doubt that even with your admirable ability to sprint in heels, you would have been able to get there in time.”

“Uncle Mort to Lex and Driggs: And if I hear any article of clothing being unzipped, unstrapped, unhooked, or unbuckled, you will lose the body part that it corresponds to. Understand?”

“We were just showering," Lex muttered."Of course," Uncle Mort said. "Everyone knows how impossible it is to zestfully clean without assistance.”