“Maybe I should off myself right now and come join you."Cordy frowned. "Why?""Well," said Lex, "it's no picnic over here in the land of the living. The whole town hates me, Mom and Dad probably despise me, there's an angry, murderous bitch tearing up the country, I've got your death to avenge and no one's offering ME any hard candy.”

“Hi, I'm Driggs.""Damn, boy. You're even cuter up close." Cordy looked him up and down hungrily. "Got any dead brothers in here?"Lex made a face. "Cordy, ew.""Doesn't hurt to ask!" She peered at Driggs. "Now tell me, what are your intentions with my sister?"Driggs became flustered. "Um, I don't know. To love her...and, uh...honor...protect..."Lex went red. "Driggs, shut up.""Awkward." Cordy beamed. "Love it.""We have to go," Driggs said in an unnecessarily loud voice.”

“And I got myself a camel," Cordy finished with a smile.Lex stared at her. "Why?""Duh, Lex, because I can .”

“Lex studied her. "Wait a sec. You're happy here?"The expression on Cordy's face confirmed this. "Not gonna lie, Lex. It's pretty bitchin'.""So I've been worried sick about you this whole time, picturing you miserable and wrecked and plotting my excruciating demise, and you're telling me this has all been a summer cruise?""Yeah. Sorry.”

“And speaking of Terms, we need to set a few ground rules here with...this," he said, clearing his throat and gesturing at the two of them."With what?" Lex said."That," Uncle Mort replied, pointing to a suspicious-looking mark on her neck.Lex's hand flew to her throat while Driggs shifted, uneasy. "Why?" he asked."Don't 'why?' me, Romeo. You know I trust you, but Lex is still my niece. In the absence of her father, it's up to me to do everything in my power to complicate and interfere with her budding love life."Lex frowned. "Hey-”

“Here's the thing,' he said, his face strained. 'It's just that I've been treading really carefully around you and this whole Cordy thing all day, just like Mort told me to. And I had to make sure you saw her and were okay with it and got home safe — again, just like Mort told me to. And as much as I'd love to continue exploring the implications of Damning roadkill, the truth is' — he plunged his hands into his hair until it stuck up even more than usual — 'you've been back here in my presence for two agonizing hours now, and if we don't properly make out soon, I'm going to hurl myself off the roof.”

“Let me tell you something right now, something that I don't want you ever to forget: Starbucks is an abomination."Lex was speechless. She now believed that there was no way in a million years this man could possibly be a blood relative.”