“We were just showering," Lex muttered."Of course," Uncle Mort said. "Everyone knows how impossible it is to zestfully clean without assistance.”

“Uncle Mort to Lex and Driggs: And if I hear any article of clothing being unzipped, unstrapped, unhooked, or unbuckled, you will lose the body part that it corresponds to. Understand?”

“And speaking of Terms, we need to set a few ground rules here with...this," he said, clearing his throat and gesturing at the two of them."With what?" Lex said."That," Uncle Mort replied, pointing to a suspicious-looking mark on her neck.Lex's hand flew to her throat while Driggs shifted, uneasy. "Why?" he asked."Don't 'why?' me, Romeo. You know I trust you, but Lex is still my niece. In the absence of her father, it's up to me to do everything in my power to complicate and interfere with her budding love life."Lex frowned. "Hey-”

“Uncle Mort after explaining to Lex and Driggs that the ether, Elixir, and other things affects fertility: That doesn't mean you get a free pass to ride the baloney pony whenever you want to. Got it?”

“I was a teenage boy once too, you know," Uncle Mort said, popping back up. "I know what your brain looks like. It's a three-ring circus in there.”

“They had completely failed to notice Norwood and Heloise storming out of the house, Uncle Mort scaling the ladder, and the fact he was now staring at them and had been for several minutes."Good grief," he said. "As if I didn't have enough to worry about."Lex and Driggs jumped apart and wiped spittle from their mouths. "What's up?" Driggs said in a terrible attempt at nonchalance."Hormone levels obviously.”

“Driggs whispered to Lex out of the side of his mouth as they walked, "I never got grounded before you came here.""You never touched a boob before I came here either.""Touché." He flashed a goofy grin as Uncle Mort shoved him into his room and slammed the door. "Worth it!”