“Why, you want me to hook you two up?"Cordy eyed her, then let out a grunt. "Could you? Michael Thorley turned out to be an assclown, and the rest of this place is nothing but a barren wasteland of undateability. The only guy who's shown the slightest amount of interest in me this summer is Mr. Papadopoulos on the third floor of the nursing home. He says I have the ass of a Russian call girl.""Ah, senility.”

“Here's the thing,' he said, his face strained. 'It's just that I've been treading really carefully around you and this whole Cordy thing all day, just like Mort told me to. And I had to make sure you saw her and were okay with it and got home safe — again, just like Mort told me to. And as much as I'd love to continue exploring the implications of Damning roadkill, the truth is' — he plunged his hands into his hair until it stuck up even more than usual — 'you've been back here in my presence for two agonizing hours now, and if we don't properly make out soon, I'm going to hurl myself off the roof.”

“Lex studied her. "Wait a sec. You're happy here?"The expression on Cordy's face confirmed this. "Not gonna lie, Lex. It's pretty bitchin'.""So I've been worried sick about you this whole time, picturing you miserable and wrecked and plotting my excruciating demise, and you're telling me this has all been a summer cruise?""Yeah. Sorry.”

“Lex froze. "What boy?""That boy I saw you with, before you came up to ring the bell. The windows of this house are fully functional, you know."Lex didn't even bother with a lie this time. "His name is Driggs. He's my partner.""Ah, partner. How very Law and Order.""Shut up, that's just how it works.""I see. And have you two had a romp in the hay yet, or would that upset Mr. Frizzle the rooster?”

“Maybe I should off myself right now and come join you."Cordy frowned. "Why?""Well," said Lex, "it's no picnic over here in the land of the living. The whole town hates me, Mom and Dad probably despise me, there's an angry, murderous bitch tearing up the country, I've got your death to avenge and no one's offering ME any hard candy.”

“And I got myself a camel," Cordy finished with a smile.Lex stared at her. "Why?""Duh, Lex, because I can .”

“Hi, I'm Driggs.""Damn, boy. You're even cuter up close." Cordy looked him up and down hungrily. "Got any dead brothers in here?"Lex made a face. "Cordy, ew.""Doesn't hurt to ask!" She peered at Driggs. "Now tell me, what are your intentions with my sister?"Driggs became flustered. "Um, I don't know. To love her...and, uh...honor...protect..."Lex went red. "Driggs, shut up.""Awkward." Cordy beamed. "Love it.""We have to go," Driggs said in an unnecessarily loud voice.”