“I learned the hard way not to open my heart to a stranger, knowing that it only leads to heartbreak, tears, and weight gain".”

“We as a human community need to develop a new competency. We need to move from a single-cell social organism to a multicellular social organism. While making this evolutionary leap is no easy task, staring into the abyss is a strong motivator.”

“Maybe I should off myself right now and come join you."Cordy frowned. "Why?""Well," said Lex, "it's no picnic over here in the land of the living. The whole town hates me, Mom and Dad probably despise me, there's an angry, murderous bitch tearing up the country, I've got your death to avenge and no one's offering ME any hard candy.”

“There comes a time in every young girl's life when she is instructed by a complete stranger to scale a tall ladder for dinner atop a roof, and in almost every case the best thing to do is refuse and run home to call the asylum from which the stranger escaped.”

“It's my purgatory, really, inner drinks, whatever. I'm never really all that interested, but I find myself telling her how beautiful she is anyway. 'Cause it's true, all women are, in one way or another. You know, there's always something about every damn one of you, it's a smile, a curve, a secret. You ladies really are the most amazing creatures, my life's work. But then there's the morning after, a hangover, and the realization that I'm not quite as available as I thought I was the night before. And then she's gone, and I'm haunted by yet another road not taken.”

“So here's the deal: You will sleep in separate bedrooms. You will leave your doors open at all times. You will keep the public displays of affection to a minimum. You will attempt to dismantle any of my surveillance equipment, which, I remind you, covers nearly every room of this house. And if I hear any article of clothing being unzipped, unstrapped, unhooked, or unbuckled, you will lose the body part that it corresponds to. Understand?"Lex and Driggs looked at each other, then nodded, defeated.”

“Hey, one week, huh, Lex?" he said, tossing her a Cuff. "Here's your graduation gift.""Sweet." she slid it onto her wrist. It felt cool, with a slight vibration to it. "Thanks.""So, you feel all trained up? Driggs teach you everything he knows?""Yes. I'm now fully qualified to operate a can opener."Driggs let out a sigh. "What a lovable scamp you've bestowed upon our fair town, Mort.""My pleasure," he said to Driggs.”