“I'll marry you before any tree on Earth.”

“You come from Planet Hunk, sent to Earth to protect and serve. And make the ladies happy.”

“It's a snake, then.''Rattler?''Most likely.'I was taking this extremely well. 'We have to kill it. By we, of course, I mean you. I'll stand here and scream.”

“Kitty, do you have the bottle?" "In my purse. Which is in my room. Not that I think I can find my room from here." "I'll get it," Martini said. He stood up and disappeared. Ten seconds later he was back, bottle in hand."What kept you?""That purse gets worse every time I look inside.”

“You ever flown something before?" (Christopher)"I hold the highest score at A.S.U. for Star Wars: Starfighter." (Kitty)"I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I'm going to regret this." (Christopher)”

“You know, things you did and do to make sure you and Mom have such a great marriage?” “Oh! I gave that advice to Jeff already. Applies to him more than you.” “Share with my anyway.” Dad shrugged. “I told him that he just needed to remember three things. First, he doesn’t run your life, and after today, he won’t run his life, either. Second, in any argument, there is your wife’s side and then there is enemy camp; never choose enemy camp in an attempt to be reasonable, because it never works. And, third, to remember that a happy wife is a happy life.”

“But before I ran out and got shot by someone I merely hadn't seen, I examined the remote. There were a lot of buttons on it. None of them were marked. Naturally, I considered hitting some at random but decided I was thrilled to still be alive and unscathed.”