“Welcome to My Super Secret Life, where people try to kill us on a regular basis, and we thwart bad-guy schemes for breakfast. We’re almost like a reality show, only without the alcohol and hot tubs.”

“Gawd, this guy was hawt. Super hawt. He was giving off heat.Josh was getting hard just looking at him.He looked like that actor. In that show. The one where he was that guy. The hot guy.”

“We’re just a bunch of regular guys who happen to make music that a lot of people enjoy.”“You’re also all fuck-hot”

“Is that the basis of friendship? Is it as reactive as that? Do we respond only to people who seem to find us interesting?... Do we all buzz or ring or light up when people press our vanity buttons, and only then? Can I think of anyone in my whole life whom I have liked without his first showing signs of liking me?”

“May I guess this has something to do with the particularly hot undead guy you suck face with on a regular basis?”

“The next evening found me having breakfast with a ridiculously hot guy. It was typical of my life that this would only happen when said guy was tied up.”