“You come from Planet Hunk, sent to Earth to protect and serve. And make the ladies happy.”
“I'll marry you before any tree on Earth.”
“You know, things you did and do to make sure you and Mom have such a great marriage?” “Oh! I gave that advice to Jeff already. Applies to him more than you.” “Share with my anyway.” Dad shrugged. “I told him that he just needed to remember three things. First, he doesn’t run your life, and after today, he won’t run his life, either. Second, in any argument, there is your wife’s side and then there is enemy camp; never choose enemy camp in an attempt to be reasonable, because it never works. And, third, to remember that a happy wife is a happy life.”
“Boys, the longer you wait to get my requested prehistoric attack dogs, the more chance we have of people we care about getting hurt, more hurt, or killed. Oh, and don't hurt the alligators--they're a protected species.”
“I dug through my purse for the Glock. There is was, and I realized I'd never set the safety. I decided to consider this a great example of forethought rather than my being the stupidest gun handler on the planet.”
“They didn't answer. But I was thinking. I'd had to do a lot of thinking like this over the past year, and it was starting to come naturally.”
“I was moving from worried to scared, and I could see terrified waving at me from just around the next bend in the road.”