“Two things, that cat has about two weeks to live and that fondue smells disgusting.”

“Two things are aesthetically perfect in the world — the clock and the cat.”

“A Man can Live two Weeks without Food,go two days without Water,and two minutes without Air,and apparently,an entire lifetime without a BRAIN.”

“They say that a cat, if it falls from a window andhits its nose, can lose its sense of smell and then, because cats live bytheir ability to smell, it can no longer recognize things. I’m a cat that hitits nose.”

“The only problem with politicians taking two week vacations every year is it’s about 50 weeks too short.
”

“Well … when do you want to get married?”“Tomorrow.”She burst out laughing again. “How about next spring?”“How about later this week?”“A Christmas wedding, then.”“Thanksgiving.”“But that’s only two weeks away!”“Two damn long weeks, if you ask me.”