“Ask yourself: 'Do I feel the need to laminate?' Then teaching is for you.”

“Who's Evan?" Ian asked."Amy's boyfriend!""Amy, since when do you have a boyfriend?" Ian probed."Since none of your business!”

“Sinead broke in. "The cops need to know what to do with Evan, Amy. What should I tell them?""Shoot to kill?" Ian suggested.”

“I'm starving. When we check into our hotel, let's ask the desk clerk where we can find one of those vast pizzas.""What are you talking about?""Your guidebook says Florence is a city of vast pizzas. Look it up yourself.""Those are vast piazzas, not pizzas! It means public squares!"Dan's face fell. "Oh."Amy sighed. "I honestly thought the clue hunt took the dweeb out of you. No such luck.”

“Fiske spoke sharply to the four walls. "We need medical attention immediately. We have a gunshot wound that requires treatment.""You're not going to get through to them by talking like an English professor," scoffed Reagan. "Hey!" she bawled. "Get a doctor down here! She's in pain, thanks to you! What are you going to do about it?”

“Come on, who saw what happened?""I did," I volenteered."Well?""Buttwipe wanted to know what jerkface was looking at." I turned turned eyes on the bloody and dirt-smeared brawlers. "You were barely 3-inches apart. Couldn't you see that you were both looking at each other?"The teacher's face reddened. "Who do you think you are? Jerry Seinfeld?""You must be confused with another student," I told him. "My name is Capricorn Anderson.”

“Ask me. I'm a cow expert.”