“It was no place for a Kabra, not even a poor one living in exile with a psychopathic cat.He approached the counter and rand the bell with authority. The clerk turned around.Evan Tolliver."You're Amy's cousin!""Yes, I am," Ian confirmed. "I have here a list of items–""Have you heard from her?" Evan interrupted. "Is she okay?""Her health is excellent.""No, I mean–"Ian sighed. "Why should you care? She promises to phone you, and she doesn't. You were nearly arrested, thanks to her. There's a message in there somewhere, don't you agree?"Evan nodded sadly. "I kind of think so, too. But we were awesome together. She's smart, fun to be with, and not immature like most of the girls in our school. It's as if she has an automatic switch for when it's time to be serious–she can almost be old beyond her years at times. Where do you learn something like that?""I have no earthly idea," Ian lied.”

“Lilith listened to her father having a fucking tantrum and then she saw a retreating Ian. Ian figured he would take this chance to get away from what was like the twilight zone. Lilith turned around making her father growl from her lack of respect. “If you so much as move you will regret it Ian and I swear by all the fires in hell I will make you feel every fucking sting from my paddle. My patience is thin and I am tired of your fear so fucking stay put.” She turned back to her father “Fine I will go save your sorry ass but if you ever threaten mine again...” Pointing to Ian and then turning back to a enraged Lucifer “We will have a fucking problem. Do I make myself clear father?” before he could reply she turned to a pissed off Ian and at this point she could care less because she was beyond pissed right now. She grabbed his shirt and pulled him down to her lips and kissed him with everything she hoped and wanted from him. Ian was beyond sense when Lilith threw him into an abyss of fire. She pulled back watching a dazed Ian “So help me if you ever let any woman touch you again I will kill her.” Ian didn’t know what to say to that he was still drunk on her taste. This time she pulled his hair and looked into his eyes; he saw passion and seduction “Mine” and she kissed him again and then pulled away. Lilith faced her father and nodded. Ian watched as she walked away.”

“Where's Amy?" Ian put in. "Will you please get her to call that Evan character? He rings here twenty times a day. He's either the most mule-headed person who ever lived, or he really likes your sister. She has to have mercy on him–on all of us!”

“Just then he noticed that Amy had that look, as though she wanted the street to buckle and split so she could fall right in. Dan saw the cool crowd from her school hanging at a table in the front. So that was why she didn't want to go in. Evan Tolliver was at the head of the table. Dan sighed. Even, the human supercomputer, was Amy's dream crush. Whenever Evan was near, she got her stutter back. "Oh, excuse me, I didn't notice Luke Skywalker," Dan said. "Or is it Darth Vader?" "Shhh," Amy said. Her cheeks were red. "He's coming." "You mean Evan Tolliver himself is about to set his foot on the sidewalk? Did you bring the rose petals?" "Cut it out, dweeb!" Amy said fiercely. "Hi, Amy," Evan said from behind her. Amy's color went from summer rose to summer tomato. She shot Dan a look that told him he was in serious trouble. "Hey, Evan," he said. "I'm Amy's little brother, Dweeb. Nice to meet you, man.”

“Amy felt her phone vibrate. She held it up. It was from Ian.DON'T ASK THE PRICE OF ANYTHING. DON'T SMILE. DON'T SAY "DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING CHEAPER?" DON'TAmy shoved the phone back in her pocket. "Just pretend to be Ian," she told Dan.”

“You're in trouble. Do you expect me to just walk away?""I wouldn't hold it against you if you did.""In know you wouldn't. That's only one of the reasons I'm crazy about you. I've got a million more.""Just a million?""Okay, a million plus one—your cat."She giggled. "You're bonding with Saladin?""Somebody has to protect that cat from your cousin Ian. And I feed him. The cat. Not Ian. He's on his own. Anyway, if that doesn't get me Perfect Boyfriend status, I don't know what will.""Emptying the litter box?""Hey. I have my limits."Amy laughed. She had the phone pressed to her ear so tightly it burned. She closed her eyes, picturing his face...Ian's crisp voice broke in. "All right, lovebirds, let's move on. No offense, but I believe Amy and Dan might need a short course in style and class.""Is this the nonoffensive part?" Dan asked. "I can't wait until you really insult us.""Let's deal with reality, shall we? You don't just walk into an auction house in your jeans and backpacks. You have to blend in. And that's going to be hard." Ian sniffed. "Considering that you're Americans.""What are you talking about, dude?" Dan asked. "This is my best SpongeBob T-shirt.”