“I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.”

“I fart in your general direction.”

“Don't talk to me like that! I am your mother! Oh, God the Father, I have raised a monster!”

“what I want you to be - I don't mean physically but morally: you are very well physically - is a firm fellow, a fine firm fellow, with a will of your own, with resolution. with determination. with strength of character that is not to be influenced except on good reason by anybody, or by anything. That's what I want you to be. That's what your father, & your mother might both have been”

“If you want to make peace, you don't talk to your friends. You talk to your enemies.”

“Mom is talking to Jack. "I hear you're interested in zoo animals."I snort. There's a sentence you don't hear too often. I fake an insulted sigh."Well, thank-you, Mother. Yes, I'm hungry, but you don't have to be so honest about it. Your tact is amazing.”