“You don't know if he's pissed or just laughing at you.”

“He shook his head and gave this laugh, a good laugh, and just looked at me. "You always this happy?""No," I said, laughing. "It's you. Every time I see you, I just...I don't know. You make me smile.”

“You just don't want a vampire pissed off at you.”

“You know,” he said, “P.S.S. Piss Camp.” “Yeah, I get it,” I said, “It’s just not funny.”

“I don't know if it's better to have people laugh at what you are or just not understand.”

“Don't find a nice guy. You'd get bored, and he wouldn't know what to do with you. So... yeah, be pissed at me if you want, but you--you're one-of-a-kind..." He paused, unsure of what he was really trying to say. "So just find a guy that gets that, you know?" He rolled his eyes at the longest voicemail in history. "Or just ignore me, because it's none of my business, anyway.”