“I'm looking into my past lives. I'm convinced some of them still owe me money.”

“I'm not sure my belly button is exactly in the middle. I wonder what that means..”

“I'm very polite by nature, even the voices in my head let each other finish their sentences.”

“Just before I look under my bed, I always get a little cold feeling, as if part of me expects to find something staring back at me.I've probably seen too many Hollywood movies to have any hopes of ever cultivating a healthy relationship with the underside of my bed.”

“Mathematicians finally developed a financial model to accurately compare apples and oranges. Any two kinds of fruit can be compared, although guavas still cause minor rounding errors.”

“Sadly, my socks are like snowflakes, no two are exactly alike.”

“The stalker, meanwhile, stepped into the road. Didn’t even check for traffic. There wasn’t any, but something told me this was lucky for traffic rather than the stalker.”