“I'm very polite by nature, even the voices in my head let each other finish their sentences.”

“Instead of heading for a big mental breakdown, I decided to have a small breakdown every Tuesday evening.”

“I'm looking into my past lives. I'm convinced some of them still owe me money.”

“I'm not sure my belly button is exactly in the middle. I wonder what that means..”

“My Zombie apocalypse plan is simple but effective; I fully intend to die in the very first wave.Seems more logical than undergoing all kinds of hardships only to die eventually anyway (through bites/malnutrition/or terminally chapped lips)”

“The stalker, meanwhile, stepped into the road. Didn’t even check for traffic. There wasn’t any, but something told me this was lucky for traffic rather than the stalker.”

“Sadly, my socks are like snowflakes, no two are exactly alike.”