“Instead of heading for a big mental breakdown, I decided to have a small breakdown every Tuesday evening.”

“I'm very polite by nature, even the voices in my head let each other finish their sentences.”

“The stalker, meanwhile, stepped into the road. Didn’t even check for traffic. There wasn’t any, but something told me this was lucky for traffic rather than the stalker.”

“Just before I look under my bed, I always get a little cold feeling, as if part of me expects to find something staring back at me.I've probably seen too many Hollywood movies to have any hopes of ever cultivating a healthy relationship with the underside of my bed.”

“I shouted the perfect words to scare him off. It was just the delivery (and only the delivery) that made me sound like a twelve-year-old girl with pee running down her leg. I felt dirty and stupid.”

“I'm not sure my belly button is exactly in the middle. I wonder what that means..”

“I didn't want to do it,' Kiala said. 'The universe just kind of conspired to force me to make a fool of myself. It does that quite a lot, actually.”