“Dealing with jackasses on every front today. Good thing I have tiger blood and Adonis DNA. (Charlie Sheen Reference)”

“An Ax was raised into the smoke filled sky while the surrounding soldiers pinned him down and stood on his hands. It took more than a dozen blows to sever each arm just below the elbows. The strangest sensation, he said, was that one minute he could feel his knuckles being ground into the asphalt by the soldier's boot and in the next he watched the man kick his arm away and he felt nothing.”

“When giving money to the amputated, you must put it directly into their pockets.”

“I will do those things which make me happy today and which I can also live with ten years from now.”

“I don't know" means "NO!""I don't know" means "I'm too cowardly to tell you the truth because I can't deal with confrontation.""I don't know" means please do the dirty work for me because I don't want to hurt your feelings even more then I already have.”

“Boys,” Lindsay agreed, nodding. “What doesn't get lost in translation?”“Things with the letter X in front of them,” Rachel posited. “Like X-Box. And X-rated movies.”

“We have become a sloppy bunch of people. We say things we don't mean. We make promises we don't keep. "I'll call you." "Let's get together." We know we won't. On the Human Interaction Stock Exchange, our words have lost almost all their value. And the spiral continues, as we now don't even expect people to keep their word; in fact we might even be embarrassed to point out to the dirty liar that they never did what they said they'd do. So if a guy you're dating doesn't call when he says he's doing to, why should that be such a big deal? Because you should be dating a man who's at least as good as his word.”