“White pants should be worn on two occasions:One, never.And two, if you're selling ice cream.”

“I like ice cream with my cake. But in moderation, and not like five gallons with a cupcake. For that much ice cream, I’d need at least two cupcakes.”

“Human milk is like ice cream, penicillin, and the drug ecstasy all wrapped up in two pretty packages.”

“She had two lips like strawberries, and the seeds gave her kisses texture. I preferred kissing her over two scoops of vanilla ice cream.”

“There are moments in life that the white-chocolate Magnum ice cream was invented for, and this is one of them.”

“We were like the Beatles, Dad.''I know you think that, sweetie''Seriously. Mom is John, you're Paul, I'm George, and Ice Cream is Ringo.''Ice Cream,' I said. 'Resentful of the past, fearful of the future...everytime we saw Ice Cream sitting there with her mouth open, we'd say, Poor Ice Cream, resentful of the past, fearful of the future.”