“There's no need to hear gossip about government. It'll only give you gas.”
“Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.”
“The way I feel about you will never change. Of course I love you—and there's nothing you can do about it!”“That's all I needed to hear.”
“I know you're angry and I know that it'll take work, but I just want you to try. To give getting through my fuck-ups together a chance. I need to know that you can give a shit about me again.”
“It'll be just lovely for you to play -- it'll be so hard. And there's so much more fun when it is hard!”
“It’s not technically gossip if you start your sentence with “I’m really concerned about __________________ ,” (fill in the name of the person you’re not gossiping about).”