“Before I speak, I have something important to say.”

“John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight...”

“Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.”

“Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay,I came to say, I must be going.I’m glad I came, but just the same,I must be going.”

“Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.”

“If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.”

“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”