“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”

“Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.”

“A man is only as old as the woman he feels.”

“Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.”

“Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.”

“Groucho: You know I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world?Woman: Really?Groucho: No, but I don't mind lying if it gets me somewhere.”

“Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun.”