“Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.”

“The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?”

“I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.”

“While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.”

“He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.”

“Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.”

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”