“Do you mind if I don't smoke?”

“Groucho: You know I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world?Woman: Really?Groucho: No, but I don't mind lying if it gets me somewhere.”

“Would you mind getting off that fly paper and giving the flies a chance?""Ahhh, you can't trick me! Flies don't read papers!”

“I'll teach you to kick me...'You don't need to teach me--I already know how!”

“Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.”

“Don't look now, but there's one man too many in this room, and I think it's you.”

“I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.”