“Do you mind if I don't smoke?”

“You don't smoke do you?""No, why?""They're afraid of fire.""Great, we're going to be eaten alive because neither of us smokes." I almost laughed. He sounded so thoroughly disgusted…”

“Inspector, there's no smoking allowed in here," said a uniformed officer who had been called to the scene.Cavuto waved to the drawers [at the morgue]. "Do you think they mind?"The officer shook his head. "No, sir."Cavuto blew a stream of smoke at Gilbert [a dead guy]. "And him, do you think he minds?"No, sir."And you, Patrolman Jeeter, you don't mind, do you?"Jeeter cleared his throat. "Uh...no, sir."Well, good," Cavuto said. "Look, on the side of the car, Jeeter. It says 'Protect and Serve' not 'Piss and Moan.'"Yes, sir.”

“YOU DON'T SMELL FIRE," I yelled. YOU SMELL SMOKE.”

“Everybody in recovery smokes. If you don't like smoking, don't even bother trying to get sober. Just stay drunk.”

“You don't understand. I only prostitute the part of the body that isn't important, and nobody suffers except my karma a little bit. I don't do big harm. You prostitute your mind. Mind is seat of Buddha. What you do is very very bad. You should not use your mind in that way”