“Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!”

“As lines, so love's oblique, may wellThemselves in every angle greet :But ours, so truly parallel,Though infinite, can never meet.”

“I will not fall for any of the following: alcoholics, workaholics, commitment phobics, people with girlfriends or wives, misogynists, megalomanics, chauvists, emotional fuckwits or freeloaders, perverts.”

“Here's a new 'Blessing' for our time -- 'May Anderson Cooper never be sent to report on your town!”

“The wish to be understood may be our most vengeful demand, may be the way we hang on, as asults, to our grudge against our mothers; the way we never let our mothers off the hook for their not meeting our every need. Wanting to be understood, as adults, can be our most violent form of nostalgia.”

“Until meeting you, I wasn’t looking for anything at all. Since meeting you, I’m kind of looking for a girlfriend.”