“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”

“I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.”

“Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun.”

“From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.”

“John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight...”

“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”

“I’ll put off reading Lolita for six more years until she turns 18.”