“I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.”

“I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.”

“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.”

“Any place I hang my head is home.”

“I'll teach you to kick me...'You don't need to teach me--I already know how!”

“Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.”

“Groucho: You know I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world?Woman: Really?Groucho: No, but I don't mind lying if it gets me somewhere.”