“I’ll put off reading Lolita for six more years until she turns 18.”
“Oh, how I regret not having worn a bikini for the entire year I was twenty-six. If anyone young is reading this, go, right this minute, put on a bikini, and don't take it off until you're thirty-four.”
“The best thing to do with a seven-year-old is wait until they’re eight to tell them to wait until they’re 18 to start living life.”
“Being young is an 18 year prison sentence for a crime your parents committed. But you do get time off for good behavior.”
“My great-aunt. . . . said nobody under 18 had any business reading Dickens. . . . She was right.”
“If keeping me off your dick wasn’t punishment, what was it?”… “Foreplay.”…“We’ve had six years of that. Do we really need more?”Dallas grinned.”