“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.”

“He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.”

“Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.”

“Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... now you tell me what you know.”

“Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.”

“I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.”

“You know you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.”