“I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.”

“I have had a wonderful time but this wasn't it.”

“Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?”

“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.”

“I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.”

“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.”

“The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths.”