“My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.”

“She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.”

“I have had a wonderful time but this wasn't it.”

“I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.”

“John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight...”

“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.”

“You know you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.”