“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”

“Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun.”

“No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.”

“Don't look now, but there's one man too many in this room, and I think it's you.”

“When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.”

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”

“From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.”