“Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.”

“Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.”

“Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it.”

“I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.”

“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.”

“He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.”

“Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.”