“Room service? Send up a larger room."[A Night at the Opera]”

“Don't look now, but there's one man too many in this room, and I think it's you.”

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”

“A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.”

“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.”

“John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight...”

“From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.”