“There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says "yes" you know he is a crook.”

“There's one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he's crooked.”

“Don't look now, but there's one man too many in this room, and I think it's you.”

“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.”

“A man is only as old as the woman he feels.”

“Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.”

“John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight...”