“We'll meet at the theater tonight. I'll hold your seat 'til you get there. Once you get there; you're on your own.”

“If I hold you any closer I'll be in back of you!”

“Groucho: You know I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world?Woman: Really?Groucho: No, but I don't mind lying if it gets me somewhere.”

“While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.”

“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”

“Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.”

“Would you mind getting off that fly paper and giving the flies a chance?""Ahhh, you can't trick me! Flies don't read papers!”