“You know you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.”

“Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay,I came to say, I must be going.I’m glad I came, but just the same,I must be going.”

“Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.”

“Chico: "Here's the book, it's a dollar"Groucho: "Here's a ten, and shoot the change."Chico: "I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.”

“John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight...”

“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.”

“I'll teach you to kick me...'You don't need to teach me--I already know how!”