“By dint of railing at idiots, one runs the risk of becoming an idiot oneself.”

“Oh, if I had been loved at the age of seventeen, what an idiot I would be today. Happiness is like smallpox: if you catch it too soon, it can completely ruin your constitution.”

“The one way of tolerating existence is to lose oneself in literature as in a perpetual orgy.”

“Anything becomes interesting if you look at it long enough.”

“When we entered a classroom we always tossed our caps on the floor, to free our hands; as soon as we crossed the threshold we would throw them under the bench so hard that they struck the wall and raised a cloud of dust; this was "the way it should be done."But the new boy either failed to notice this maneuver or was too shy to perform it himself, for he was still holding his cap on his lap at the end of the prayer. It was a head-gear of composite nature, combining elements of the busby, the lancer cap, the round hat, the otter-skin cap and the cotton nightcap--one of those wretched things whose mute ugliness has great depths of expression, like an idiot's face. Egg-shaped and stiffened by whalebone, it began with three rounded bands, followed by alternating diamond-shaped patches of velvet and rabbit fur separated by a red stripe, and finally there was a kind of bag terminating in a cardboard-lined polygon covered with complicated braid. A network of gold wire was attached to the top of this polygon by a long, extremely thin cord, forming a kind of tassel. The cap was new; its visor was shiny."Stand up," said the teacher.He stood up; his cap fell. The whole class began to laugh.He bent down and picked it up. A boy beside him knocked it down again with his elbow; he picked it up once again."Will you please put your helmet away?" said the teacher, a witty man.”

“The world is going to become bloody stupid and from now on will be a very boring place. We’re lucky to be living now.”

“Let us not kid ourselves; let us remember that literature is of no use whatever, except in the very special case of somebody's wishing to become, of all things, a Professor of Literature.”