“Do you think it’s easy for me? No, I don’t remember you. I don’t remember holding you or talking to you or falling in love with you—but I walk around with a giant hole in my heart all the time. I feel your absence every second of the day. It aches and nothing soothes it. Losing you is bad enough, but I don’t even get the comfort of remembering that I had you once.-Haden”
“She wiped her eye and pressed her lips together. “I sleep in your room. I’m fairly pathetic about it, really. I wear your T-shirts to bed and watchyour movies.” She paused. “And you don’t even remember me.”This time I stopped walking. “Do you think it’s easy for me?” She had gotten a few steps ahead and turned to look back at me. “No, I don’tremember you. I don’t remember holding you or talking to you or falling in love with you—but I walk around with a giant hole in my heart all the time. Ifeel your absence every second of the day. It aches and nothing soothes it. Losing you is bad enough, but I don’t even get the comfort ofremembering that I had you once.”
“I don’t understand.” Except, truthfully, I just didn’t want to understand.Pain shadowed across his face. “Darkness lives in me, Theia. Inside of me. Like a sickness. And right next to it, intertwined with it, are my feelings for you. If I act on one, I’ll act on the other. The darkness in me wants you the way a black hole eats stars. I dream of tasting you, devouring you.” His eyes darkened terribly. “Haden, stop trying to frighten me.” He carried on as if he hadn’t heard me. “This isn’t a crush; it’s an obsession. You are never not in my thoughts. Your scent carries across a room and paralyzes me with longing. I don’t want to hold your hand. Part of me wants to set you on fire and hold you while the flame consumes us both, to eat your heart so I know that only I possess it entirely. Are you scared now? Does your human mind comprehend the danger at last? I’m not like you. I’m not human, not completely anyway.”
“Haden flashed me a grin. “You ever been stumping?”“Er … I don’t even know what that is.”“It involves muddy logging roads, four-wheel drive, and holding on to the ‘oh, shit’ handle above your door.”
“I just called to tell you good night. Get some sleep, Theia. Tomorrow is a big day.”“I would sleep much better if you were here.” As soon as the words spilled out of my mouth,I wanted to die of embarrassment. Haden and I were close, but we hadn’t gotten that close yet. “I mean . . . it’s just that when you’re near I’m not as agitated. Not that I want to sleep with you.” I needed to stop talking—I was making it worse.“You don’t?” He was teasing now. “Now you’ve hurt my male pride.”
“It’s true that I never want to hurt you. But I can’t promise you that I never would" -Haden”
“Who was your first kiss?” Heat rushed into my face. I flattered myself by thinking maybe he wanted to kiss me. I wished he wanted to kiss me. “I haven’t …” Squeezing my eyes closed, I began again. “I haven’t been kissed. Yet.” “Why?” I rolled my eyes at his innocence. “You obviously know I’m not like other girls. I’m shy and I don’t spend time with boys. My father is strict and—” “That’s not why.” He thought he knew me so well.“Fine. You tell me why I haven’t been kissed.” I regretted the words and my tone instantly. What if he told me what I already knew? That I was lacking. Not interesting or pretty enough. “You were waiting.”