“Every time that boy smiles, somewhere a puppy died.”
“Every time you try to flirt with her, a puppy dies.”
“Stop smiling. Every time you smile, an angel dies.”
“There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure.”
“For every puppy or kitten your pet gives birth to, one dies in the shelter for lack of a home... Spay/Neuter.”
“That’s the spirit. Now the next time you say it, say it without looking like your puppy just died.”