“I’d like to make it clear from the start that I am gay, gay,gay. Like, when I come out of the closet, I’m usually wearingmy sister’s prom dress kind of gay.”

“I don't get it, if there was a closet full of gay guys, then why would any of them want to "come out of the closet?”

“Lots of people hate gay people.You can tell who they are because they start sentences with, "It's not like I hate gay people.”

“I knew I had to break up with Ann Rosenberg after she chose a teal dress for the prom. I had never heard of teal. Also, I was gay.”

“I don't care if you wear white to your coming-out party and pretend to be a virgin, but you're gay, Kit. G-A-Y. Gay! So gay, fairies everywhere will weep that your machismo avoided their gaydar for so long.”

“And stop calling people gay. I don't even know why that's an insult. There are real gay people in the world, you know, and there's nothing wrong with them. Calling someone gay, like it's a bad thing, is like calling someone a dentist--it doesn't make any freaking sense!”