“Moms were psychic and evil.”

“Mom has no idea that I want to go to Our Lady of Sorrows just to investigate a haunting. I have a gut feeling I'm going to be an outsider at this school, but that's the price I pay for being a psychic investigator. Like my Master Psychic's Handbook says, "Being a psychic isn't a normal career, like being a doctor or a lawyer. At some point, there may be a price to pay for such an unusual, misunderstood lifestyle.”

“At school, he enacted a major piece of treachery against his parents. His right hand was Evil Dad, and his left was Righteous Mom. Evil Dad blustered and theorized and dished out pompous bullshit. Righteous Mom complained and accused. In Righteous Mom's cosmology, Evil Dad was the sole source of hemmoroids, kleptomania, global conflict, bad breath, tectonic-plate fault lines, and clogged drains, as well as every migraine headache and menstrual cramp Righteous Mom had ever suffered.”

“Matthew, exactly how psychic are you?So psychic that other psychics should be called Mattics.”

“You don’t have to be psychic to end up knowing things you were a lot happier not knowing.”

“They were two people staring at each other knowingly, communicating psychically amidst an ocean of deaf, dumb and blind meatsacks.”