“College football would be much more interesting if the faculty played instead of the students, and even more interesting if the trustees played. There would be a great increase in broken arms, legs, and necks, and simultaneously an appreciable diminution in the loss of humanity.”

“A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students. ”

“Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football.”

“The secret of success is concentrating interest in life, interest in sports and good times, interest in your studies, interest in your fellow students, interest in the small things of nature, insects, birds, flowers, leaves, etc. In other words to be fully awake to everything about you & the more you learn the more you can appreciate & get a full measure of joy & happiness out of life.”

“It [soccer] would be much more interesting if every so often, the ball spontaneously exploded.”

“REGARDING THE MARCHING BAND: How much more interesting it would be to see a creeping band.”