“You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.”

“Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.”

“Sunday school: A prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.”

“If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl.”

“My belief in free speech is so profound that I am seldom tempted to deny it to the other fellow. Nor do I make any effort to differentiate between the other fellow right and that other fellow wrong, for I am convinced that free speech is worth nothing unless it includes a full franchise to be foolish and even...malicious.”

“American journalism (like the journalism of any other country) is predominantly paltry and worthless. Its pretensions are enormous, but its achievements are insignificant.”

“Life is a constant oscillation between the sharp horns of a dilemma.”