“I'm not trouble at all. I'm just a guy trying to get a girl to give him the time of day. I'm like every song on the radio.”

“I'm not a cop. I'm just a tattoo artist. I'm just a guy who used to be in love with a girl. I'm just a fool who's been fooled too many times before. I'm just a man who's finally getting his revenge.”

“Guys like you don't usually talk to girls like me. Girls like me don't get invited to prom. Guys don't make fools of themselves for girls like me. Girls like me are ignored. Invisible. But I'm not a girl anymore. I'm a woman. Thanks for reminding me.”

“I like to rock and roll, but I'm a mushy guy, too. I want to be the guy that all the girls love and all the guys want to hang out with”

“I glared at him. "I may not die now... but I'm going to die sometime. Every minute of the day, I get closer. And I'm going to get old.”

“Hell if I know. That's for smart people like you to figure out. I'm just trying to get college guys to speed up their blow jobs.”