“You can't just go around touching someone's butt uninvited and expect to walk away without the owner of that butt using your face to break a few tables, right?”

“You should have dragged my butt out of bed.""Your butt's too big to drag," Taylor said.Hayley sat on the floor, facing her sister. "That means yours is too. We have the same butt, remember?""Don't remind me," Taylor said. "I see it every time you walk in front of me.”

“Hey,” he pulled away and put his hand on my face. “What are you thinking about?”“Your butt,” I admitted.”

“Pepper woke up thinking of butts.And nothing else.Ladies' butts.Skinny butts, big butts, saddlebag butts, flabby and firm butts, the kind that sit so high they seem like part of the woman's back, the kind that ride low and form a UU just above the thighs like in the old television commercials for Hanes Underalls, butts that wiggle and butts that jiggle, sagging butts and robust butts, butts that hardly make an impression under a pair of jeans; sidewinder butts and trumpet butts -- the ones so meaty they actually spread out until they appear to be a woman's thighs (ass so fat you can see it from the front), butts as knotty as acorns, butts as smooth as a slice of Gouda, butts with pimples and butts with cellulite, the kind that have pockmarks or red splotches, butts with tattoos and butts with bullet scars. Butts you can cup in your warm hands. Butts and butts and butts.In other words, Pepper woke up horny.”

“Guilt reminds me of a stray cat. You chase it away and yet, it comes back when you least expect it. If you let yourself feel pity for it and feed the thing, it parks its ugly, puny, lonely-for-attention butt on your doormat and won't go away. Scat kitty cat, scat. I don't need you sitting around here like that.”

“That's the thing people can't see when they're explaining to your butt what's going on and how you messing up. They can't see that you knew it long before they did.”