“Someone to whom jokes are never told soon contracts enthusiasm deficiency.”

“I decided then and there never to become someone who told jokes when explanations were impossible.”

“I never told a joke in my life.”

“A comedian is someone who tells the truth. Truth is the set of all jokes told by all comedians in the world.”

“In 1945, peace broke out. It was the end of the Joke. Joke warfare was banned at a special session of the Geneva Convention, and in 1950 the last remaining copy of the joke was laid to rest here in the Berkshire countryside, never to be told again.”

“He felt as if he had told a joke and they had missed the punchline and were leaning to him, wating for the kicker, the all-illuminating kicker that is found only in jokes; or as if someone had asked, "How you doing?" and the spring-and-strap arrangement in him had rusted and broken and he would never again be able to answer perfunctory questions the way other people did.”