“I wanted to be afraid, especially when I saw the long,thin sword he carried in his hand, but I couldn't.The man was wearing a Snuggie.”

“He was carrying bulky loot; I could see it under his zipped-up sweater. And when I unzipped it with a one-handed rip, I saw that he was wearing a bandolier loaded with grenades. I have no doubt that a wide, manic smile spread across my pretty little face.”

“Will nodded toward Hadrian. “Look at the swords he’s carrying. A man wearing one—maybe he knows how to use it, maybe not. A man carries two—he probably don’t know nothing about swords, but he wants you to think he does. But a man carrying three swords—that’s a lot of weight. No one’s gonna haul that much steel around unless he makes a living using them.”

“I am a warrior in the time of women warriors; the longing for justice is the sword I carry.”

“I want to be the world’s safest fashion designer. And I always wear my seatbelt, especially when I’m in the car.”

“I understand that the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, astatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made sound never equaled the purity of sound achieved by the pig.”